30 year old Tommy Vercetti nearly fainted Monday night from the effort it took to stop scrolling his phone and spend some time practicing the thing he loves doing more than anything in the world.
“It was really scary. I didn’t know if I was going to make it”, he told us in an interview. “I had 911 dialed and came really close to calling.”
Tommy has been talking for years about his dream being to make money doing his favorite hobby but interestingly enough this lazy ass has to basically tape his eyeballs open any time he even thinks about doing it. And that’s if he even thinks about it.
“I’m telling you I’ve got something here. I’m really good at this when I do it… Which is once every six months.”
The mental drain of starting to do the task was so much that he got anxiety and put on a soothing music playlist, which put him to sleep instantly, causing him to fall and hit his head on his hardwood floor. He woke up this morning in a hospital.
“Hey man it might have put me in a hospital bed but at least I’m out here doing the work. That’s more than most these cheep nowadays can say. Us true artists know that’s something they can never take away from us.”
When we asked him how he feels his skills are progressing he got really self conscious and kicked us out of the room he is checked into at the hospital. After the door was slammed behind us we could hear him nearly pissing his pants laughing at old episodes of Tom and Jerry.
We’ll continue to closely monitor his artistic growth, though something tells us there won’t be much any time soon.
The Weakling Gazette 
Leave a comment