The Weakling Gazette

Method actor Frank Walker is finding out the hard way that what he once saw as the role of a lifetime is more of a mouthful than he anticipated. Sweet dreams really are made of this, it seems.

We’ve all heard the story. Marilyn Manson has 2 ribs removed from each side of his body in order to suck his own dick. Mr. Walker is known as one of the most dedicated method actors of our time and for that reason he travelled to Brazil to replicate the controversial surgery.

After a 2 month healing process he finally gained enough mobility to truly commit to the role and let one rip straight to the kisser. Leo might have had a hard time eating raw meat for The Revenant but Walker seems pretty adamant that this was much much harder and honestly we believe him.

Almost equally difficult for Walker was having to chase the taste of his own load with sexually harassing women and peppering hard Rs into his day to day conversations.

On a more positive note Walker found it very easy to perform Manson’s music during filming, despite the fact that before he was cast in the role he had never played an instrument in his life. From what we’re told, this is due to the fact that his music fucking sucks. Unfortunately we can’t know for sure because there’s no way in hell we’re gonna listen to anything by that guy.