They’re calling it “the lock in of the century”. Local man Miguel Vazquez woke up on Friday morning still interested in the hobby he started the previous morning.
“I wish it was something I could put into words but I’m not sure we have a word for the sheer willpower I’m displaying.”, he told reporters.
Researchers from art schools across the country have reached out to him in an effort to better understand why and how he was gifted this supernatural ability.
“It just doesn’t make sense” Royal College of Art Dean Bill Franklin opines, “I was tired of art halfway through my first drawing but have been stuck in this bullshit job forever. And here comes this dork who can paint 2 days in a row? Don’t let me in the same room as him. I swear to god I’ll kill him.”
The Weakling Gazette reached out to our in-house art expert Art Vandelay for a comment but upon hearing the news about Mr. Vazquez he immediately quit and “If he loves this shit so much why doesn’t he just do it.”
We can’t actually name any scientists other than Neil DeGrasse Tyson so we asked him what this development means.
“If this were real it would fly in the face of every study we’ve ever done on the brain”, he explains. “The problem is, I know everything and if this were possible I would have told you about it by now. It’s fake and gay.”
When we asked Miguel if he plans on painting again tomorrow he said he already had lost interest but was planning to try baking some sourdough bread.
We may never understand how he managed to like art for more than one consecutive day, but maybe eventually an autopsy on Mr. Vazquez will explain what happened with him, and how it could potentially be replicated in the future.
The Weakling Gazette 
Leave a comment